My First Experience..

Here is my first experience of what is called a meditative state:

I first experienced it in the year 1994. I was working in the second shift (2 PM-10 PM). At around 7:30 PM or so, the site work was finished by all the groups I was responsible for, and I was left alone in my office apart from the office attendant and the recorder (the person responsible for preparing attendance of the workers, collecting operational data, and filling in the log-book).

I took a book of Osho’s discourses out, and started reading it. For the past few months, I had started noticing a subtle change in my surroundings when I got immersed in those discourses. Osho often told the audience to close their eyes and sit silently, doing nothing;and I used to read those words, and continue reading further. That evening too, I became aware of the same subtle change around, and yet again I came across his words exhorting people to close their eyes and sit silently. I decided to do it then and there. I closed the book, put it away, and sitting comfortably in my chair, closed my eyes.

The first thing I became aware of, as soon as my eyes closed, was the sound of the whirring fan above. I was just registering it when the sound of the wall clock ticking broke into my consciousness. Withing a few seonds, I became aware of so many faint and commond sounds..some of them coming to me from the street below my office. It felt a bit strange to be aware of many sounds, regular and irregular; some occurring only once. Suddenly I became aware of my belly and my chest moving rhythmically. None of the sounds disturbed the silence I was feeling inside. It felt as if nothing could disturb it.

I became aware of my left leg numbing because of being in the same place for long. I wanted to change its position to become more comfortable, but didn’t; the effort just didn’t feel worth it. The phone rang..the ring seemed to be coming from afar…I didn’t lift the receiver..didn’t feel like doing it. The office attendant received the call on the parallel line, and answered it. Thankfully, it was not someone who wanted to speak to me. I became aware of a mosquito sitting and sticking its proboscis on the back of my palm. It started sucking, and the familiar itch started. I just kept sitting in the same position, being intensely aware of everything..but not feeling like moving even a finger. The mosquito drank to its fill, and then left.

I don’t know how long I kept sitting in the same position. It was such a strange state of utterly peaceful…so utterly fulfilled.

Gradually, I came back to my familiar state of consciousness, or rather unconsciousness. But the remnant of the peace I had experienced remained with me till the next morning.

P.S. Once I had the glimpse, the experience started repeating itself. I got the knack of getting into that state without actually ‘doing’ anything. I could, then, understand why it is said that there is no method, or there is no path. It somehow opened my eyes a bit, and I started understanding a few things very clearly.

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