Painful

Living with a limb which hurts too bad is quite painful. But cutting it off with your own hands is no less painful.

The real dilemmas in life are those which present you with a Hobson’s choice. No matter what you decide, no matter which course you choose, it is all the same: equally painful, equally confusing, equally disorienting. You don’t even know which option would make you suffer a lesser agony, a lesser angst.

One reason, and I think it is the foremost one, is our conditioning. Going against your conditioning is painful, no doubt, but going against your very being proves to be far more painful; it hurts you no end. The life seems so meaningless and empty, that you feel like calling it quits.

But the life goes on. I think if you are finally able to come to terms with your suffering, it makes you emerge a bit more resilient. I don’t mind suffering myself much, but if it involves the suffering of a dear one, I find it simply intolerable. And the helplessness you feel at not being able to alleviate it, becomes too heavy a burden on your psyche.

I don’t believe in God. Probably for those who believe, things are a bit easier as they can leave it all in his hands. But what can an atheist do? He can’t leave the matters in anyone’s, real or imaginary, hands. He can’t shirk his responsibility for himself and others. The resulting suffering is so unbearable that it is simply beyond imagination.

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